Demo discussions

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Demo discussions

Post  OrmagNecros on Mon Oct 14, 2013 7:16 am

Thought it would be interesting to see what people here think of the demo.

I haven't tried it yet since I am unable to get the mac version to work. :\
Oh well, guess I'll try the PC version tomorrow.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Rainbow Wavedash on Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:32 am

Mac fix incoming tomorrow.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Zenophilious on Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:08 am

It seems to be working fine for me, and I'm running it on 10.6.8.  I have no idea what's supposed to be wrong with it...

So far, it seems great.  The save system seems a little wonky, since the one time I tried to use it it loaded only the background and refused show the dialogue, characters, or even the bar with the dialogue and Tom's face on it, but I just started from the beginning again.

I also noticed that it seemed to refocus every couple of screens.  Not sure if that's on purpose, and can't be fixed, or is a bug, but it was mildly irritating (little things like that irk me, but I'm just weird that way).  Nothing that ruined the experience for me or anything, just thought I'd mention it.

I keep getting reminded of Katawa Shoujo, and dem feels are coming back.  Pinkie really reminds me of Emi, with the hairstyle and all.  I think it's a good thing.  A lot of people I know got into VNs with Katawa Shoujo, and like I said, I have some pleasant memories associated with it.  Feels a little nostalgic.

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Just finished

Post  Piethonn on Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:32 am

I just finished going through the entire demo, and so far, I must say that I absolutely love it. The art work is phenomenally well done, the music is absolutely perfect, and the story is amazing. Actually, nearing the end of it, it reminded me of something. As Tom was on his own in his room, alone with his thoughts, I couldn't help but notice that is almost exactly what went through my mind as I left home to enlist. Of course, the military being far more strict (and living with ~50 other dudes), is much different from high school. But, my thought process was relatively similar. Anyway, great job. I look forward to the finished product. Hell, I may even go through the demo a few more times before it gets released. Thanks for the awesome product.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Grollo on Mon Oct 14, 2013 7:09 am

I just played through, and it looks great. Love the music especially. A first I was worried about a slight lack of variety in sprites and music, but then I remembered the disclaimer about how several are placeholders. The writing was great, with all the characters feeling like themselves - I especially love how Pinkie keeps getting up close and personal.

Is Derpy going to be holding all the little odd jobs on and around the school? That would be so great. I can hear the narration already: "How many jobs does this girl have? Can she even have time to sleep?".

Thomas Daniel Stone. Just perfect.

Oh, I found a small bug: in the middle of the RD conversation, the cursor is moved to the center of the screen.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  OrmagNecros on Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:11 am

Just finished trying the demo.
I loved every minute of it.
The characters are great, the art and design is beautiful, and the writing (aside from 1 or 2 typos) is fantastic.

I look forward to seeing what happens in the finished version, I know everyone who's working on it will do an amazing job.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Sefarean on Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:20 am

I just finished the demo.
Man that was pretty great, the art was really well done and the music was great aswell.
Only a few typos, but meh, that's nothing important.
I enjoyed it a lot, that's my judgement.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  gekiganwing on Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:31 pm

Read the demo, and stopped just after the meeting with Celestia. My thoughts so far...

1. The story started with a bunch of vague, introspective narration. I think it would be better to start with an event happening (two people talking, or action).

2a. What sort of school did Tom attend?
2b. Where did he live?
2c. Why travel by train?

3a. Tom and Twilight already know each other at the beginning. When FIM began, Spike and Twilight already knew each other. Though their relationship is more like mother-son or siblings.
3b. Also, it seems both Tom and Spike like to sleep.

4. I'm a little surprised by how large AJ, Rarity, Derpy, Pinkie, *and* Fluttershy's cup sizes seem to be. By comparison, Twilight's body looks slimmer, and Celestia's body is appropriate for an adult. That said, it's your choice as to how you draw humanized characters. Their canon ages are vague, and of course this story is only loosely based on FIM.

5. I didn't expect the zoom effect when meeting Pinkie. Maybe it's because I've been following the English visual novel community for years, and I'm still surprised when anything looks better than Amatire.

6. I'm not sure if I like side portraits. It looks like they're identical to the characters' on screen expressions. A nice option, I guess, but not essential.

7. I suppose it's appropriate that Tom's surname is "Stone." And is the "Daniel" middle name referring to a certain well known FIM composer?

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  JohnSmith1 on Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:48 pm

The backgrounds are very well drawn and I like the story. The main problem with the game is the anatomy of the characters. Their heads are unsually large and weirdly shaped.This is how head sizes are suppose to be http://fenrixion.deviantart.com/art/Friendship-Is-Magic-385451580 Not to mention their chest size. I am kinda suprised why they didn't use this person's Rarity considering the fact that he works on the game http://semehammer.deviantart.com/art/The-Worst-Possible-Thing-391075253
I think an important thing to do would be to make model sheets like this http://ghostwriternext.deviantart.com/art/Fabienne-The-Hedgehog-Model-Sheet-392105445 to keep the character designs consistent.
Here is something interesting http://www.japanator.com/here-is-an-awesome-pic-showing-design-changing-over-time--29843.phtml

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Nighty on Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:32 pm

I came into the demo being all "Duh, Twilight cuz waifu," but now I'm torn between either Pinkie or RD. Also still have my fingers crossed for Luna. >w<

DAT DEMO THO, OMG. The art was beautiful, the writing was beautiful, the everything was beautiful and it should be illegal to be this hyped. ;~;

PS: Pinkie's rapeface is priceless. xD

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Camsy on Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:07 am

Finished playing through the demo, really great stuff. I can't wait for the full release!

Few small things that jumped out at me as I played through.

  • When it says Twilight is fast asleep on the train, the image is of her just standing there with eyes shut. I'm guessing this is a placeholder, but if it's not I'd highly recommend taking the time to do one of her lying down on the seat.
  • The music is great, but it doesn't quite loop properly, once the song finishes it cuts off at the end and has a small pause with no sound then starts again, rather then having a full fade out/in, or an instant loop back to the start.
  • There's a few gaps where no music plays, again I'm guessing this is temporary. But if it's not, get something in there! Razz
  • This is a small detail, but I feel like in some of the longer scenes, the image becomes too stagnant, something as simple as adding in a blink animation, or maybe have some subtle changes in the background so that the image continues to move.
  • More of a question, will there be actual dialog options? So far in the story, there hasn't been any choices. Will we get the option to play through a few different ways, or is Tom's storyline pathway set in stone? Wink
  • Oh and in the scene at the end of the demo where Tom makes it to his room, it mentions his bag sitting on the bed, but the image has his bag next to his desk. I found it a bit off-putting. Maybe add an extra image of some bags sitting on the bed, just for that scene, then remove them later? Or an easier option would be to just change to text so it says his bag is next to his desk.


That's about it! I'd just like to say again how amazed I am by the quality of this project. When I first saw it several months ago, I was expecting some short, half-assed attempt, but just the demo has already exceeded those expectations! Continue the great work and I look forward to hearing your updates. sunny 

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  OrmagNecros on Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:28 am

Camsy wrote:
[*]More of a question, will there be actual dialog options? So far in the story, there hasn't been any choices. Will we get the option to play through a few different ways, or is Tom's storyline pathway set in stone? Wink
I think it will.
Especially considering the demo was just part the first chapter (I think), and is unfinished with placeholders.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Pugs on Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:05 pm

I thought the demo was pretty awesome. Really great artwork in particular.

A couple of points though:

1. In the first conversation with Derpy, her portrait appears much lower than Toms. It's a bit weird seeing Toms portrait with head, neck, and shoulders, and then it switches to Derpys image only showing her head. I guess that's to show that she's a lot shorter?

2. A couple of small grammar errors in the office scene with Celestia. Tom says, "It's not that I don't have ambition, it's more like... I don't [know] where to aim it."

And a little later Celestia says "Applied studies will give(s) you classes focusing more..."
"...some classes fit into all subjects, and other[s] are mandatory."
And afterwards,
"The second I step outside, I feel like I should've given her a bow, too. Seems more proper. Returning [to] the waiting room..." (I don't think a comma is necessary in 'given her a bow, too' either)


I know this is being really pedandic but it's little details like this that can spoil a great game for me. Anyway, keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the games final release!

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  Cmdr Brohoof on Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:32 pm

I like it. I've only played two visual novels ever so I'm really looking forward to this one.

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Re: Demo discussions

Post  TauManifesto on Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:39 pm

I so far really liked it. For a relatively low budget(?) and being completely free it is beautifully done. The writing is great but what really hooked me was the music and beautiful artwork. Serious kudos to the artist(s) who's on the team. I've read a small amount of VNs and this shows a lot of promise to be one of my favorites. I can't wait to see the finished product also the portraits zooming in and out is a pretty awesome touch. Haven't seen a VN do that so far and it's quite a fun touch to reading and interacting with the characters.

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