Demo discussions
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lordcruxis
kami00
jony11
Kaleopolitus
flour
TauManifesto
Cmdr Brohoof
Pugs
Camsy
Nighty
JohnSmith1
gekiganwing
Sefarean
Grollo
Piethonn
Zenophilious
Rainbow Wavedash
OrmagNecros
22 posters
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Re: Demo discussions
I enjoyed it a lot. Tom was more likeable than I thought he might be. He's unsure but not completely helpless. The artwork is excellent. I like how it can be scaled to full-screen without loss in quality. I liked Derpy popping up around the place too.
It seems like a good school too—a place where I wouldn't mind spending a lot of time at.
Suggestions (the first two are obvious):
1. Some more poses for the characters.
2. More music.
3. The writing is good but I think the start should be compacted or have some indication of progress happening. The black lasts for a little too long. Maybe images of the long distance the train is going.
Keep doing the good work!
It seems like a good school too—a place where I wouldn't mind spending a lot of time at.
Suggestions (the first two are obvious):
1. Some more poses for the characters.
2. More music.
3. The writing is good but I think the start should be compacted or have some indication of progress happening. The black lasts for a little too long. Maybe images of the long distance the train is going.
Keep doing the good work!
flour- Posts : 8
Join date : 2013-10-16
Re: Demo discussions
So, I'll be the crazy guy and complain about, *GASP*, the MUSIC! Yes, I have a complaint. What kind of complaint?
Drum rolls...
My sound level was adjusted to the first sountrack to pop by. The second one's harp started so loud that it startled me. Throughout listening to said soundtrack I was under the impression that the harp in the right ear (it was a harp, right?) was just too loud compared to the other instruments. Obviously I'm no musician so this is a player's perspective. But, devs, I urge you to take note of it and every other non-positive comment to come along. Might be one of us devil's advocates is on to something.
That said, loving what you have so far. I do hope some small level of voice acting can be included, as I loved the trailer voice acting for Twilight and I think she would do an amazing job in general.
Oh, one more thing. At the start, the text there was kind of long and arduous. At a point I felt like my time was being wasted as I became uninterested in Tom's thoughts. Spice it up? Make it a bit shorter? I'm just making remarks and suggestions, not claiming to KNOW things here.
Doom Pigeon out.
Drum rolls...
My sound level was adjusted to the first sountrack to pop by. The second one's harp started so loud that it startled me. Throughout listening to said soundtrack I was under the impression that the harp in the right ear (it was a harp, right?) was just too loud compared to the other instruments. Obviously I'm no musician so this is a player's perspective. But, devs, I urge you to take note of it and every other non-positive comment to come along. Might be one of us devil's advocates is on to something.
That said, loving what you have so far. I do hope some small level of voice acting can be included, as I loved the trailer voice acting for Twilight and I think she would do an amazing job in general.
Oh, one more thing. At the start, the text there was kind of long and arduous. At a point I felt like my time was being wasted as I became uninterested in Tom's thoughts. Spice it up? Make it a bit shorter? I'm just making remarks and suggestions, not claiming to KNOW things here.
Doom Pigeon out.
Kaleopolitus- Posts : 3
Join date : 2013-10-15
Re: Demo discussions
We may not respond to every post, but I make a note of every major issue people have.
(But the music is mostly placeholder tracks )
(But the music is mostly placeholder tracks )
Re: Demo discussions
How did I forget about my biggest issue?! Geez, I knew I should have written it down somewhere.
Okay, so my biggest qualm with the beta was the text. Playing it I had an experience I never had before, which was that I kept having too look away from the characters! Now, obviously, you need to to read the text. But in the demo this was significantly more so than with other VN's.
I think this is because of several reasons put together:
1. The text is awfully far to the left for where characters usually are.
2. Character faces are very high up relative to the text
3. The text is very small in size for said distance to the faces.
My preferred state would be where I could read the text at a glance and not feel like I have to wait with reading just to make sure I caught all the expression changes.
Okay, so my biggest qualm with the beta was the text. Playing it I had an experience I never had before, which was that I kept having too look away from the characters! Now, obviously, you need to to read the text. But in the demo this was significantly more so than with other VN's.
I think this is because of several reasons put together:
1. The text is awfully far to the left for where characters usually are.
2. Character faces are very high up relative to the text
3. The text is very small in size for said distance to the faces.
My preferred state would be where I could read the text at a glance and not feel like I have to wait with reading just to make sure I caught all the expression changes.
Kaleopolitus- Posts : 3
Join date : 2013-10-15
Found a problem
I noticed that after you finish talking with Rainbow for the first time then mention that you need to be at the headmasters office.
Pinkie says
"Sorry about that! I was having so much showing you guys around that I totally forgot why we were doing it in the first place!"
Shouldn't the word fun be after much?
Pinkie says
"Sorry about that! I was having so much showing you guys around that I totally forgot why we were doing it in the first place!"
Shouldn't the word fun be after much?
jony11- Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-10-16
Re: Demo discussions
Let's see, what to say about my initial impressions of the demo excluding the music. I really enjoy the artwork and and character designs. For me the conversations or writing were easy to follow and enjoyable to read. It wasn't very text heavy (thank god). Personally I felt Tom was relatable. Tom is best rock. Sorry about that.
But one problem is the loading. I loaded one save file and pop out a background and character portraits. And that's it, no text boxes and no way to progress the game.
I guess that is it, Im not very good at giving critique. Overall, for me the demo was really good, can't wait for the full version.
I don't know if this is appropriate or not to ask questions in this thread or not, but here goes (being answered or not):
Will there be VAs implemented in the final game?
Will the visual novel have multiple endings with choices being critical or is it a linear story progression?
(Silly question) Will there be a prom if this is Tom's senior year?
So yeah, keep up the good work you guys.
But one problem is the loading. I loaded one save file and pop out a background and character portraits. And that's it, no text boxes and no way to progress the game.
I guess that is it, Im not very good at giving critique. Overall, for me the demo was really good, can't wait for the full version.
I don't know if this is appropriate or not to ask questions in this thread or not, but here goes (being answered or not):
Will there be VAs implemented in the final game?
Will the visual novel have multiple endings with choices being critical or is it a linear story progression?
(Silly question) Will there be a prom if this is Tom's senior year?
So yeah, keep up the good work you guys.
kami00- Posts : 8
Join date : 2013-10-06
Re: Demo discussions
Other than the occasional typo (which was to be expected of an unfinished product anyway) I really don't have any complaints so far. >w< It's beautimous! Keep up the good work, friends!
Nighty- Posts : 170
Join date : 2013-06-12
Age : 29
Location : In your heart
Re: Demo discussions
Feedback time
Graphics:
The graphics are very reminiscent of K-on in my opinion, which isn't bad. It has a very "moe" feel. However the shading, on the breast, in particular is awkward and it feels like the perspective is a little confused. I don't expect this to change this late in development. Just for your info.
Sound:
The music isn't bad, but it has a very noticeable flaw in that it either needs A) to be longer or B) to loop better. Nothing like hearing the music loop, obviously, multiple times in a long meaningful conversation.
Story:
This is where I might start sounding douche-y. In my opinion the writing sounds like it's trying to be Japanese, like other VNs, but feels like it's written by westerners. It comes off as weird and awkward. There were several behavior issues that I had, the biggest when Pinkie asked Tom's name and he asks "My name?" Who the hell else would she be talking to? Then moments later the same thing happens with Twilight. There were more of these. Certain things were said, that would never be said. Such as "I need to be unconscious now." No one would ever say that. It sounds weird and wrong.
Bias:
I do have certain biases and I thought I'd lay them out. First I don't like dark Twilight, I don't think she's to dark here which is nice. Second I hate large breasted Fluttershy. No really I hate everyone who draws her well endowed. I personally don't think it's fitting.
Having played a lot of VNs myself there is a certain length:arcs:choices ratio I really hope that you can get it down.
I know I may not sound like it, but I am looking forward to reading this. I want you guys to succeed.
Graphics:
The graphics are very reminiscent of K-on in my opinion, which isn't bad. It has a very "moe" feel. However the shading, on the breast, in particular is awkward and it feels like the perspective is a little confused. I don't expect this to change this late in development. Just for your info.
Sound:
The music isn't bad, but it has a very noticeable flaw in that it either needs A) to be longer or B) to loop better. Nothing like hearing the music loop, obviously, multiple times in a long meaningful conversation.
Story:
This is where I might start sounding douche-y. In my opinion the writing sounds like it's trying to be Japanese, like other VNs, but feels like it's written by westerners. It comes off as weird and awkward. There were several behavior issues that I had, the biggest when Pinkie asked Tom's name and he asks "My name?" Who the hell else would she be talking to? Then moments later the same thing happens with Twilight. There were more of these. Certain things were said, that would never be said. Such as "I need to be unconscious now." No one would ever say that. It sounds weird and wrong.
Bias:
I do have certain biases and I thought I'd lay them out. First I don't like dark Twilight, I don't think she's to dark here which is nice. Second I hate large breasted Fluttershy. No really I hate everyone who draws her well endowed. I personally don't think it's fitting.
Having played a lot of VNs myself there is a certain length:arcs:choices ratio I really hope that you can get it down.
I know I may not sound like it, but I am looking forward to reading this. I want you guys to succeed.
lordcruxis- Posts : 47
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 34
Re: Demo discussions
On the music I agree with you but I think they said that the music in the demo is a placeholder. As far as the well endowed Fluttershy (I'm all for it ) I'm just glad they are all different and not sharing the same body type.lordcruxis wrote:Feedback time
Sound:
The music isn't bad, but it has a very noticeable flaw in that it either needs A) to be longer or B) to loop better. Nothing like hearing the music loop, obviously, multiple times in a long meaningful conversation.
Bias:
I do have certain biases and I thought I'd lay them out. First I don't like dark Twilight, I don't think she's to dark here which is nice. Second I hate large breasted Fluttershy. No really I hate everyone who draws her well endowed. I personally don't think it's fitting.
Cmdr Brohoof- Posts : 10
Join date : 2013-10-15
Age : 34
Location : TN
Re: Demo discussions
On that note, I don't actually hate anyone.Cmdr Brohoof wrote:On the music I agree with you but I think they said that the music in the demo is a placeholder. As far as the well endowed Fluttershy (I'm all for it ) I'm just glad they are all different and not sharing the same body type.lordcruxis wrote:Feedback time
Sound:
The music isn't bad, but it has a very noticeable flaw in that it either needs A) to be longer or B) to loop better. Nothing like hearing the music loop, obviously, multiple times in a long meaningful conversation.
Bias:
I do have certain biases and I thought I'd lay them out. First I don't like dark Twilight, I don't think she's to dark here which is nice. Second I hate large breasted Fluttershy. No really I hate everyone who draws her well endowed. I personally don't think it's fitting.
Different body types are fine, good even. I just don't like Fluttershy getting the large breast. But who am I to judge, and we're all looking forward to this VN anyways.
lordcruxis- Posts : 47
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 34
Re: Demo discussions
I would totally say this.lordcruxis wrote:"I need to be unconscious now." No one would ever say that. It sounds weird and wrong.
It is simply an odd turn of phrase.
(I speak English as my first language, fluently and reasonably articulately.)
Ruthalas_- Posts : 68
Join date : 2013-07-03
Re: Demo discussions
Yeah, the "I should be unconscious now" thing is odd, but not completely unbelievable that someone would say it. :u I for one think the dialogue was great.
Nighty- Posts : 170
Join date : 2013-06-12
Age : 29
Location : In your heart
Re: Demo discussions
Upon finally playing Grisaia no Kajitsu, which I like, I feel the need to reiterate the bit about the No. of choices vs No. of arcs vs Length of the VN.
Grisaia is 50+ hours with 5 arcs and more or less 8 choices. IMO this is too few and the only reason why I don't love the VN. I think a number around 15 would be more appropriate in this situation.
Also when we say Starswirl is slice of life, are we talking Nakige, potential crying, SoL ala Visual Arts Key? Or more happy-go-lucky?
Grisaia is 50+ hours with 5 arcs and more or less 8 choices. IMO this is too few and the only reason why I don't love the VN. I think a number around 15 would be more appropriate in this situation.
Also when we say Starswirl is slice of life, are we talking Nakige, potential crying, SoL ala Visual Arts Key? Or more happy-go-lucky?
lordcruxis- Posts : 47
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 34
Re: Demo discussions
After playing the demo, I must say I'm impressed considering that it's only a demo, though there are a few things I picked up on. Stuff like the music and transitions (i.e. when one character enters or leaves a scene, they suddenly disappear rather than fading in or out) is stuff that's to be expected from a beta so it's not a massive issue. Same with the few typos I found here and there. There are some bigger issues I did have though. Other things have already been picked up on - like the dialogue where Pinkie asks what their names are. It seemed a little unnatural.
One of them is the way the story is structured. You're just thrown into the action rather than being given any sort of introduction or real clue as to why exactly Tom is going to Starswirl academy in the first place. I can understand if it was all going to be revealed in detail later on, then maybe there wouldn't be quite so much cause to give a full explanation early on, but nevertheless it would be nice for there to be something more than there is just so you're not left wondering what exactly is going on. Also, I'm not sure about meeting Derpy/Applejack/Rarity on the train there. It just seems a little, how shall I put this, forced perhaps. Maybe meeting derpy on her own might make sense, and then introduce Applejack and Rarity later (sometime after Pinkie's tour and the meeting with Celestia). I don't mean to sound as though I'm being overly critical but it didn't seem the most natural place to have a meeting with them. Also, I don't quite understand how you go from Derpy saying that only first years need to attend the first day of school to Pinkie having had classes and Derpy appearing to meet Twi and Tom at the gates.
Maybe that's just me being too critical, and I don't want to sound as though I'm saying it's bad or anything. It's not, and I'd not have a clue where to begin on writing something like this. For the most part, the demo was very impressive, it's just those little things that I noticed which I thought I'd give feedback on. Er, so, yeah. It's good though.
One of them is the way the story is structured. You're just thrown into the action rather than being given any sort of introduction or real clue as to why exactly Tom is going to Starswirl academy in the first place. I can understand if it was all going to be revealed in detail later on, then maybe there wouldn't be quite so much cause to give a full explanation early on, but nevertheless it would be nice for there to be something more than there is just so you're not left wondering what exactly is going on. Also, I'm not sure about meeting Derpy/Applejack/Rarity on the train there. It just seems a little, how shall I put this, forced perhaps. Maybe meeting derpy on her own might make sense, and then introduce Applejack and Rarity later (sometime after Pinkie's tour and the meeting with Celestia). I don't mean to sound as though I'm being overly critical but it didn't seem the most natural place to have a meeting with them. Also, I don't quite understand how you go from Derpy saying that only first years need to attend the first day of school to Pinkie having had classes and Derpy appearing to meet Twi and Tom at the gates.
Maybe that's just me being too critical, and I don't want to sound as though I'm saying it's bad or anything. It's not, and I'd not have a clue where to begin on writing something like this. For the most part, the demo was very impressive, it's just those little things that I noticed which I thought I'd give feedback on. Er, so, yeah. It's good though.
iam_smithers- Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-11-14
Love it
I'm no expert on VN's, but i got into them in late 2012 (around this time) and my first VN was Katawa Shoujo as well. It gave me very fond memories.
In the demo, i loved it a lot. It did remind me of Katawa Shoujo, too. Nothing really ruined the experience for me.
What I think is you should come up with some stuff about Tom, I don't like a person whose serious 24/7 so i hope to see him being goofy and part of any shenanigans going on, at times.
As for the other characters, I don't at all mind Fluttershy's chest. I do see her as a character with some feature to do with her breasts, be they super large or super plump.
I also really really like Derpy. I hope we see her all the time, kind of like the character who you can hang out with without worries and can go to with your problems, similar to a male protagonist's best friend in most other visual novels. The one thing i didn't like it KS was how different route's would restrict time with other characters, so in any route i'd like to be able to hang out with all the other characters and not just the one girl.
The language is not too big a deal. It's a bit too formal, but i'm in the south-east so my way of speaking is straight to the point. All you'd need to do is shorten some combinations of words. Won't ruin it though.
And for the game, there will be choices. There has to be to choose which of the Mane Six you love. I don't like it for there to only be 2 choices per route (1 to enter route another to select ending). I say you make it one (1) choice to enter a route, and another 2 or even 3 choices to select your ending. But I want there to be choices that don't effect or redirect the route too largely. These choices can be used to flesh out Tom's personality or characteristics to fit the player. These wouldn't have to be too many, but just a few on the side for extra content that can help make it better as a whole.
In the demo, i loved it a lot. It did remind me of Katawa Shoujo, too. Nothing really ruined the experience for me.
What I think is you should come up with some stuff about Tom, I don't like a person whose serious 24/7 so i hope to see him being goofy and part of any shenanigans going on, at times.
As for the other characters, I don't at all mind Fluttershy's chest. I do see her as a character with some feature to do with her breasts, be they super large or super plump.
I also really really like Derpy. I hope we see her all the time, kind of like the character who you can hang out with without worries and can go to with your problems, similar to a male protagonist's best friend in most other visual novels. The one thing i didn't like it KS was how different route's would restrict time with other characters, so in any route i'd like to be able to hang out with all the other characters and not just the one girl.
The language is not too big a deal. It's a bit too formal, but i'm in the south-east so my way of speaking is straight to the point. All you'd need to do is shorten some combinations of words. Won't ruin it though.
And for the game, there will be choices. There has to be to choose which of the Mane Six you love. I don't like it for there to only be 2 choices per route (1 to enter route another to select ending). I say you make it one (1) choice to enter a route, and another 2 or even 3 choices to select your ending. But I want there to be choices that don't effect or redirect the route too largely. These choices can be used to flesh out Tom's personality or characteristics to fit the player. These wouldn't have to be too many, but just a few on the side for extra content that can help make it better as a whole.
Big Bad Wolf- Posts : 5
Join date : 2013-11-18
Age : 29
Location : Alabama, USA
Re: Demo discussions
Glad I wasn't the only one who thought of Katawa while reading. It might be the very nice school for "special" studies. Nevertheless I enjoyed it and I wanna read Katawa again because I read thisBig Bad Wolf wrote:I'm no expert on VN's, but i got into them in late 2012 (around this time) and my first VN was Katawa Shoujo as well. It gave me very fond memories.
In the demo, i loved it a lot. It did remind me of Katawa Shoujo, too. Nothing really ruined the experience for me.
Jorganstan- Posts : 8
Join date : 2013-10-05
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